Mother Guilt
I read a lot about “mother guilt” and who is to blame for it.
Is it health professionals?
Is it our family?
Is it the internet?
Is it other mothers?
I don’t think it’s any of those things.
Rather than casting around and trying to shift the blame, perhaps we need to stop and look within. Perhaps we need to identify our insecurities, name them, accept them and take away their power.
You see, only *you* are responsible for how you feel.
Only *you* are responsible for how you respond.
Only *you* are responsible for how you process a comment from a friend, or an opinion in a blog, or some factual information in a scientific journal...
Shifting the blame is easy. Taking responsibility is hard.
But it’s also liberating.
Own how you feel in these situations. Then own the choices you make in light of, or in spite of those situations.
Be confident. In fact, CHOOSE to be confident, even if you don’t feel entitled to that confidence.
You can also change your mind if you like. You’re allowed to do that. There’s no shame in it.
Then... move on!
Because no matter what choices you make, or how long you dwell on them or spend agonising about how other people will perceive you for them, the world is going to keep spinning and it’s taking you with it.
{Picture of my toddler watching TV - a constant source of my own mother-guilt that I’m getting much better at owning, because sometimes it’s the only way I can get dinner cooked!}
Georgina Dowden is a mother, midwife and lactation consultant (IBCLC).
In her day to day life, she looks after her two beautiful children and also supports other families on their parenting journey.
If you would like to get in touch sleep/settling support, click here:
Home visits for breastfeeding support available if you live in the Northern Rivers of NSW.
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